'How so?' I suspect you are thinking, current events, earthquakes and other natural disasters, not to mention nuclear threats in Asia and terror in the Middle East surely point towards Armageddon especially if you have happened to stray over onto the more errr eccentric side of Youtube recently.
Well going about my usual business in Aldi this morning I found on sale a toilet seat..it gets better reader.. down from £15.99 to an almost affordable £8.50 in the up to 50% reduced special buys bins. Woohoo thought I knowing that for several months the upstairs khazi has been adorned with a lime green plastic affair prone to slippage and recently missing its outer lid.
Normally I check carefully prospective purchases before adding them to the shopping trolley, however I spotted the words soft close and after picking up the box and finding it reassuringly heavy nestled it straight in amongst the baby maris pipers, own brand cola and everyday essentials real butter...salted if you were wondering.
Now on its own this might have put me in a good mood, after all there is something mildly satisfying about a quality bathroom fitting. Having one's posterior met by upmarket warm thermoset plastic on a cold morning has a lot to be said for it especially if like me you can remember the days of the outside bog and its freezing hard black seat. Coupled with a luxurious soft close hydraulically dampened hinge you can see how my general disposition may have been elevated..
This particular throne topper though with its smooth action and top quality material is a thing designed for palaces and landed gentry. In fact I would suspect even the ablution facilities adjoining Valhalla may lack this feature.. On reading the fitting instructions I found It's quick release. The whole thing comes off at the push of a button for...errr... hang on.. oh yes cleaning
.
The owners manual however doesn't mention the other obvious benefits of such a mechanism. Quick release means portable. everyone in the house could have one, even public conveniences could be fitted with the attachment points so you would never again need to perform a dreaded hover dump over municipal porcelain. Worrying about looters stealing it after a hurricane? Never fear simply click and take it to the nearest shelter with you.
It could spawn a whole industry of accessories, monogrammed carry bags, custom release buttons, branded wet wipes and maintenance kits. I have seen the future reader and it's in the middle Isle of Dudley Aldi. I kid you not.
