Monday 11 December 2023

Clean up on.. Black Friday

 

Before we rush headlong into 2008 or whatever next year will be calling itself I thought I'd ask a question. What did you order during the frenzy that was Black Friday..or was it Black Friday week or month..anyway extended black autumn winter sales. Tv? New phone? Electric toothbrush? . I ordered a mop head. To be exact I ordered 5 mop heads because that seems to be the sweet spot with value for money and postage.
Why a mophead you ask? Well partly because flash super dooper swifty speedy mops are pants when dealing with..well anything really, and we happen to have an aging,epilectic and  increasingly incontinent canine  that needs following around with something a lot more effective than a glorified babywipe on a flimsy 4 piece stick. Seriously I have no idea why we bought one of these things in the first place they've taken a simple and effective cleaning tool and turned it into a subscription for hideously expensive and largely ineffective disposable wipe refills. It's a masterclass in advertising. One wipe and you're done?..my arse but you certainly have been.

Anyhoo After being duped into buying a flashysuperspeedieshitemop sometime during the pandemic I congratulated myself on coming to my senses and bought a proper mop with wooden handle from Wilkos so we could kill 99.999% of known nasties easily with a bucket of water and a capful of knock off Dettol before granddaughter visits. When Its head needed changing after several months of sterling service I thought I'd return to town for another before realising that Wilkos had gone tits up leaving our high street a collection of charity shops, betting shops, pound shops, vape shops and dodgy looking fast food joints, none of which can be classed as purveyors of fine galvanized steel socket cotton string mop heads.
Reluctantly to the internet I went and ordered a pack of 5 mop heads from a seller on eBay with a name something like the dustpan and brush shop.


 My wife pointed out that I should have found a vendor that sounded more like mop and bucket store however a  string mop head is a mop head right? I expect reader you would think along the same sort of lines as me in that how it attaches to the handle i.e. large plastic screw thread or just a socket for a wooden handle would be the the only variables to worry about.
The package seemed rather small when the nice lady from Hermes handed it to me and I initially thought maybe it was something else. But no when opening there were 5 of these.....


which is OK if you live in a Wendy house. I did some further research...


Although I had successfully avoided all types of flash mops, auto squeegees, circular mops, strip mops,microfibre,spray,spin and Kentucky style mops (which apparently need to be accompanied by a large cleaning trolley, janitor uniform, full ppe and a risk assessment) and correctly indicated my requirement regarding a metal galvanised socket connector foolishly in my haste I'd overlooked the type/size and mistakenly ordered  'py10' ... As a layman and strictly amateur mop jockey I then assumed that size 20 would be twice as big as the size 10 toy version currently looking dwarfed in the mop bucket and would get me back to floor cleaning utopia. So I placed another order for 5 of those (avoiding the dustpan and brush store this time just in case the wife was on to something) and awaited the arrival of the courier.


 This is what turned up.


 At this point I'm giving up because clearly mop sizing isn't logical or have any internationally recognised standards and ordering another 5 in say size 14 might put me on a government watchlist as a mopfetishist. I'm just about to order some heavy duty shears for mop modification purposes.

 I miss Wilkos.  

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